The Military Wife vs The Civilian Wife

   There has been a lot of talk about military wives and civilian wives lately. Personally I think there is a difference between today's military families and civilian families. I however have a different take on the debate over the challenges the wives face. Yes, it's hard to go through a deployment not knowing when your next phone call or letter will arrive. It's hard having our spouses gone (what's seemingly) all the time. It is even harder playing both Mommy and Daddy. Do I think that puts me above my civilian friends who's husbands are gone for business trips and boys weekends? Absolutely not! Of course they miss their husbands when they're gone too. Civilian wives get to see their husbands every night, so when that business trip does come up it's not the norm for them. Just because they have the "9 to 5" job doesn't mean they can't miss them when they're gone and we should support them, because who knows better than a military wife what it's like to spend a Friday night alone and missing your other half?!?

   I know a lot of military wives are thinking "who is this jack wagon" right about now. Some of you are thinking that there is no comparing a field exercise or deployment to a business trip or guys weekend. For the most part the civilian wives aren't trying to offend you by saying, "I know what you're going through." They're trying to show you support, trying to relate as best they can. Of course there are days that you don't want to hear a one week business trip compared to a 7 or 12 month deployment. Before you strangle these women remember that they are just like you. They love their husbands, they miss their husbands too. If you say you don't miss your husband when he's in the field for a week then you are in denial.

   Then there are the civilian wives that make comments to you such as "you should have known what you were getting into." How many of you honestly knew what you'd be getting into? With all the curve balls the military throws, I don't know that anyone can say they knew 100% what they were getting into! Some of the people making comments like this are more out of ignorance and youth than to inflict hurt on you. Try to be nice to them and just let them know that not everything in life can be planned out 100% of the time. While you can't change the situation, you do the best you can given what you have to work with.

   I hope the next time one of the civilian wives makes a comment about being away from loved ones you'll take a step back, resist the urge to punch her in the face and just try to remember we're all on the same side.