Let me introduce you to my husband. He’s opaque, white, sort of transparent and had a crush on Christina Ricci in his 1995 movie. If you guessed Casper the Ghost you get a gold star. At least that’s who it feels like I’m married to sometimes. Between deployments, schools and field exercises I sometimes felt like the married single girl, who is now the married single parent. In the past 2 years (exactly today!) I have seen my husband roughly 150 days, give or take a few. Yes, that’s right 150/750 days…not too shabby! Some of you may be thinking “Are you kidding me!?! That’s horrible!” while others may be thinking “Wow, you’re so lucky!!!”
So many wives are left at home with work or school or kids or all of the above. While we lived at our last duty station (we were only there a year) only 4 or 5 people actually met my husband. Some of the High school kids I worked with would joke that he was pretend or that I kept him locked up in the basement. Yet those days they are home can have so many emotions. There have been times its perfect and like another honeymoon, and others where we’re at each other’s throats because we know he’s just leaving again in a few days and take the stress of it out on one and other.
What would we do if we saw our husband’s every day? Our relationships would be something completely different for one. I don’t think that I would appreciate my “Casper” and the little things he does for me before he leaves. The bowl that’s kept in the cabinet that’s just out of my reach always seems to find its way to a bottom shelf just before deployment or long field exercises, and that favorite shirt of his finds its way into my dresser after the last pre-deployment bag is packed. Would these things get done if he was just going on a weeklong business trip? HECK NO! It’d be a quick peck on the cheek as he rushed into the cab for the airport, instead it’s a 5 minute long hug because sometimes you don’t know when the next one will come. In 4 years or 20 years, when it’s all said and done I know that it will be wonderful to have our husbands home daily, so until then….embrace the uncertainty ‘cause you know (if you don't know already you soon will) it is an ever changing lifestyle.
Definitely agree with this!! My husband and I have been married 10 months August 10th and out of that time me and my husband have been together almost 2 months of that and not consecutively either and I wouldn't trade it for the world I know that the time I have with him is precious and the time apart makes our time together even better! And I also know that every time we see each other after field ops and stuff is not always the best because the tension of him leaving again soon is there. He has definitely missed events but I don't get sad hes not here for them I smile because no matter where he is he seems to get a call, a email, or something to me that makes my day and this year all I want for my birthday is him and in fact he is coming home from deployment right before my birthday and a lot of people would be like you only want your husband for your birthday there isn't anything else you want and no there isn't! Nothing is better then having your hubby there for something but knowing that you will be ok if they aren't. I have dealt with getting in a car accident, work, school, family illnesses, and so much more on my own but to me that is our life and I honestly wouldn't trade it for the world!
ReplyDeleteIt's really tough being a dependent. Breaking news is TriCare's new online, telephone, and videoconferencing mental health services. This just went live today, and I think will be big news in the military dependent community. Check out this article about this service. http://drpullen.com/2010/07/29/tricare-provide-free-confidential-counseling-for-military-dependents/
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